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Author Topic: The House of Chuck Norris.  (Read 36195 times)

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Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #120 on: August 31, 2011, 12:35:39 AM »
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #119 on: August 16, 2011, 12:46:42 AM »

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #118 on: August 11, 2011, 11:12:06 PM »
The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #117 on: July 01, 2011, 05:25:10 AM »
Chuck Norris had a fight with Bruce Lee. Lee hit chuck into the ground creating the ridge known as the himalayas

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #116 on: June 29, 2011, 07:12:35 AM »
If you see Chuck Norris fighting a bear, don't help Chuck Norris, help the bear.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #115 on: May 24, 2011, 01:35:16 AM »
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Offline FronTeeR

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #114 on: May 22, 2011, 11:07:14 PM »
If you see Chuck Norris, its good.
If you dont see Chuck Norris, its bad because you have about three seconds to live.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #113 on: May 17, 2011, 03:10:03 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Offline Miffy

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #112 on: May 16, 2011, 11:02:45 PM »
i should change my name to Miffy Norris, then everyone shall bow down to me in fear  :wahaha:

(i shall be an active member of this thread...soon)

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #111 on: May 14, 2011, 10:18:07 PM »
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #110 on: May 14, 2011, 04:29:16 AM »
 :XD: Yeah, your right... I'll just stand behind a tree and watch...  :corner:

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #109 on: May 14, 2011, 03:55:50 AM »
amen

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #108 on: May 14, 2011, 03:48:08 AM »
If you see Chuck Norris fighting a bear, don't help Chuck Norris, help the bear.
I think you don't want to get involved.
Chuck Norris will just kill you too.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #107 on: May 14, 2011, 01:41:54 AM »
If you see Chuck Norris fighting a bear, don't help Chuck Norris, help the bear.

Offline Torrigan

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #106 on: May 14, 2011, 01:31:55 AM »
When Chuck Norris is playing Rock Paper Scissors his fist beats everything

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #105 on: May 13, 2011, 11:10:57 PM »
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Offline FronTeeR

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #104 on: May 13, 2011, 06:28:20 PM »
Every year on his birthday Chuck Norris chooses a lucky kid a throws him in to the Sun.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #103 on: May 12, 2011, 10:24:18 PM »
Good one...  :wahaha:

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #102 on: May 12, 2011, 08:08:22 AM »
tries not to choke on pizza...  :wahaha:


There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #101 on: May 10, 2011, 11:54:30 PM »
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #100 on: May 07, 2011, 12:09:26 AM »
Touching Chuck Norris' beard will increase you life expectancy by 6 years. Unfortunately, the following roundhouse kick will reduce your life expectancy by 300. You do the math.

Offline 5538858

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #99 on: May 06, 2011, 11:33:47 PM »
Last time when Chuck Norris was in a tempest, dinosaurs died.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #98 on: May 04, 2011, 07:17:34 AM »
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #97 on: April 13, 2011, 06:07:52 AM »
:wahaha:

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #96 on: April 11, 2011, 11:17:31 PM »
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #95 on: April 09, 2011, 10:33:50 AM »
:hahaha:

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #94 on: April 08, 2011, 10:39:13 PM »
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #93 on: April 08, 2011, 07:55:13 AM »
It is too late for Chuck Norris to stop me from typing this se

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #92 on: March 26, 2011, 12:11:49 AM »
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Offline enewia

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #91 on: March 20, 2011, 07:09:42 PM »
When Google doesn't find something he asks Chuck Norris

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #90 on: March 20, 2011, 12:19:20 PM »
The reason why time doesn't stop is because it's running from chuck norris.

Offline enewia

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #89 on: March 20, 2011, 05:17:57 AM »
Chuck Norris know how to speak the Braille :D

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #88 on: March 19, 2011, 09:18:02 PM »
:hahaha:

Offline enewia

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #87 on: March 19, 2011, 07:25:18 AM »
Who could resist Chuck Norris ?  :maikka:

Chuck Norris is making onions cry  :hahaha:

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #86 on: March 19, 2011, 02:15:25 AM »
Thanks for joining in.

Chuck Norris divides by zero.

Offline enewia

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #85 on: March 19, 2011, 01:57:00 AM »
One day, Chuck Norris lost his wedding ring now it's the chaos in Middle-Earth.


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #84 on: March 19, 2011, 01:39:02 AM »
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #83 on: March 19, 2011, 01:35:34 AM »
The total gym was designed by Chuck Norris. Only his own body weight can give him the proper work out.

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #82 on: March 18, 2011, 11:15:17 PM »
When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #81 on: March 18, 2011, 07:55:50 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't need to stand on top of the Empire State building to kill someone with a penny.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #80 on: March 18, 2011, 01:46:36 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #79 on: March 18, 2011, 01:16:41 AM »
:wahaha:

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #78 on: March 16, 2011, 05:11:11 AM »
The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #77 on: March 10, 2011, 06:04:47 AM »
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #76 on: March 10, 2011, 04:16:49 AM »
The Grand Canyon was created when Chuck Norris was swimming through land.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #75 on: March 08, 2011, 11:48:54 PM »
Don't even ask. Chuck Norris is always serious.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #74 on: March 08, 2011, 03:51:21 PM »
chuck norris once took a swim in the ocean. the ripples he caused are kown today as waves

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #73 on: March 08, 2011, 12:56:04 AM »
Chuck Norris has no home security system. Chuck Norris welcomes intruders.

Offline shitsuji

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #72 on: March 07, 2011, 11:31:48 PM »
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, cars look both ways for Chuck Norris.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #71 on: March 03, 2011, 11:51:57 PM »
When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.