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Author Topic: The House of Chuck Norris.  (Read 36671 times)

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Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #70 on: March 03, 2011, 02:40:32 PM »
There is no theory of evolution, Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #69 on: March 03, 2011, 12:16:48 PM »
 :hahaha:


Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow.  His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #68 on: March 02, 2011, 01:25:57 AM »
Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #67 on: February 26, 2011, 12:36:52 AM »
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #66 on: February 25, 2011, 03:22:03 PM »
good one :XD:

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #65 on: February 24, 2011, 08:45:52 AM »
If you misspell "Chuck Norris" on Google it won't correct it, it just says you have 10 seconds to live.

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #64 on: February 21, 2011, 12:57:44 AM »
There are no such things as nukes. It's just Chuck Norris pounding the ground with his fist.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #63 on: February 20, 2011, 10:16:23 PM »
 :hahaha:


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #62 on: February 15, 2011, 12:32:02 AM »
Here's one for Valentine's Day.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #61 on: February 12, 2011, 12:56:19 PM »

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...
he is already following you. :ghoststories:

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #60 on: February 11, 2011, 05:28:05 AM »
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.

Offline byakushiki

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #59 on: February 08, 2011, 05:25:16 AM »
You don't find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris finds you.
Sorry, please read the forum rules to see why you can't view spoilers and why you can't post in this forum section. Thank you!

I am a fan of Chuck Norris. He just kicks ass in so many ways. Always watched Walker Texas Ranger whenever it was on TV.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #58 on: February 08, 2011, 04:09:40 AM »
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #57 on: February 05, 2011, 05:14:51 AM »
Chuck Norris divides by zero.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #56 on: February 05, 2011, 04:38:22 AM »
Chuck norris has two speeds. Walk and kill

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #55 on: February 04, 2011, 05:13:33 AM »
 :wahaha:
A unicorn once kicked Chuck Norris. That is why they no longer exist.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #54 on: February 04, 2011, 04:23:25 AM »
Sorry, please read the forum rules to see why you can't view spoilers and why you can't post in this forum section. Thank you!
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #53 on: February 04, 2011, 03:41:05 AM »
 :wahaha: Nice one.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #52 on: February 04, 2011, 03:36:36 AM »
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #51 on: February 03, 2011, 02:45:59 PM »
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #50 on: February 03, 2011, 11:28:48 AM »
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #49 on: February 02, 2011, 11:50:11 PM »
Chuck Norris' wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, Time to kick ass.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #48 on: February 02, 2011, 02:22:33 PM »
 There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.   

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #47 on: February 02, 2011, 12:32:14 AM »
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #46 on: February 01, 2011, 10:50:05 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't need Twitter.  He's already following you.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #45 on: January 31, 2011, 01:20:57 PM »
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #44 on: January 29, 2011, 03:27:15 PM »
Chuck Norris doesn't take showers, he takes blood baths

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #43 on: January 29, 2011, 07:23:12 AM »
When Chuck Norris went to donate sperm, half the nurses drowned; the rest were pregnant.

Offline ambassoon

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #42 on: January 29, 2011, 07:04:05 AM »
Chuck Norris likes to donate blood to the Red Cross....just not his own.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #41 on: January 29, 2011, 05:26:05 AM »
Chuck norris always walks with a flashlight. Not because hes afraid of the dark but because the sun keeps running away from him

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #40 on: January 29, 2011, 05:02:07 AM »
Yes, like Antonio Bandaras...

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #39 on: January 29, 2011, 04:28:26 AM »
Like antonio bandaras...

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #38 on: January 29, 2011, 01:22:16 AM »
Chuck Norris can satisfy a woman by pointing at her with his finger and saying "Booya"

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #37 on: January 26, 2011, 03:58:30 PM »
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #36 on: January 26, 2011, 01:20:01 PM »
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #35 on: January 26, 2011, 09:01:37 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #34 on: January 25, 2011, 06:44:01 AM »

Fact #1
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.

Fact #2
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.

Offline abser703

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #33 on: January 25, 2011, 06:32:55 AM »
Chuck Norris doesn't flush a toilet, he scares  the sh*t out of it

Offline nanimoshiranai

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2011, 02:33:37 AM »
Chuck Norris eat hammers and crap nails

Offline ambassoon

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2011, 02:00:55 PM »
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #30 on: January 22, 2011, 08:21:18 AM »
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #29 on: January 21, 2011, 11:31:53 PM »
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Offline sylvette

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2011, 12:13:32 PM »
 :hahaha:
~was laughing really hard at this thread then remembered reading you can die laughing~



When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.


Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #27 on: January 21, 2011, 07:26:43 AM »
Theres an faq or somethin around here... Search teh board. You need a certain amount of members to start the club or it gets locked.


It looks like we need more members. I better start recruiting.

Replied: January 21, 2011, 08:00:00 AM
Sorry, please read the forum rules to see why you can't view spoilers and why you can't post in this forum section. Thank you!

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2011, 07:02:20 AM »
Theres an faq or somethin around here... Search teh board. You need a certain amount of members to start the club or it gets locked.

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2011, 06:45:08 AM »
Member list!

I agree. How do we set it up so it's members only?

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2011, 06:37:16 AM »
Member list!

Offline Andore

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2011, 06:33:06 AM »
Just after born, Chuck Norris had sex with the nurse who assisted the doctor. It was her first time, and Chuck Norris's 4º...

Offline antonus

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2011, 12:18:38 AM »
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

Offline MintiNF

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Re: The House of Chuck Norris.
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2011, 11:08:49 PM »
Chuck norris stopped washing his clothes in the sea. The tsunamis were killin too many people...